Scott reveals more of what he's going through to Stiles. Stiles reluctantly agrees to help.
The library has several people using it to help with the homework that Wikipedia just can't fix. Or the people hiding out after school for some reason. Or the occasional freak who just likes hanging out with the corpses of dead trees, all lined up in pretty rows. Scott is pretty sure all of the above is shifty, but he cuts one particular freak a break. Because hey, Stiles is weird, but still awesome. He winces as his sneakers squeak occasionally on the concrete floors, looking around until he finds Stiles at his solitary table and then flops down across from his friend with a noise not entirely unlike a mammoth's impact after being harried off a cliff by a pack of peckish cave people. "Dude!" And then, at the glare of the librarian, yards away, a quieter, "Dude."
Stiles has a couple of books on the table, but mostly he's tapping furiously away at the tablet he's started to carry with him everywhere. At Scott's sudden flopping, he glances up, smirks at the librarian's glare, and then taps the "screen off" button. Putting aside the tablet, he rests his elbows on the edge of the table, spreads his hands wide, and gives his head a little bob while echoing back, with a questioning intonation, "Duuude?" He's gotten good at the library voice, though. He spends fifth period here every day.
Scott looks better than he did when he crashed on Derek's couch, but a night or two of rest still haven't erased the dark circles under his eyes entirely. There's a lot weighing on the young alpha, but at the moment he seems relatively animated. He says, quietly, "First, I forgot to say thanks for the other night. You guys letting me stay helped a lot." And then, "But I kind of need your help with, um, stuff. Trying to figure out something weird. Not bad weird. But weird weird."
Shaking his head a bit, Stiles says, "Seriously? C'mon." He drops his hands to the tabletop, resisting the urge to drum his fingers, and leans in a bit, "I mean, I'll tell Derek you said 'thanks,' for sure, but hey, it's me. You don't even have to say it." He tilts his head, then, eyes narrowing slightly in a thoughtful sort of way, and asks, "Yeah? Okay, you had me at 'something weird.' What's up?"
Also leaning in, Scott says, quietly, "So I was working out a little last night before bed and Brock showed up at my house. Like, you know that thing Derek does where doors are optional? The whole Batman thing? He totally pulled that on me. Once my heart started again, he started talking and he started, um, pushing me. Not literally, but you know, pushing to see what my, um, alpha instincts would put up with. Getting up in my face, trying to stare me down, all that. I kind of thought he was being a dick, at first." Scott trails off there, obviously not finished but also trying to figure out how to put his words in order.
Stiles gets an annoyed look as he hears this, his shoulders tensing somewhat. "Yeah, that sounds like Brock," he mutters. "Guy's okay, I guess, but he's pushy as hell. Kind of a dick, too." He shrugs, as if to say well, it is what it is. "So..." he asks after a beat or two, "Then what happened?" Clearly there's more to the story, after all.
He had me pinned against the wall. Not like holding me there, but kind of, um, you know, looming and blocking me in with his arms. And the alpha part of me was kinda going nuts. But I don't want to fight anybody right now, you know? And not in my house. We'd wreck the place. Mom would go nuts. But while he had that part of me going, red eyes and about to wolf out, he told me to use it. To, um, smell him." He pauses and grins that lopsided grin of his, "I know, what sounds gross. But it's a wolf thing. Anyway, I did. And I could smell that he wasn't challenging me, not really. Well, he was a little, because that's who he is, but it was mostly about getting me to use my werewolf stuff when I'm not about to die or scared or doing something physical. And I could tell a lot about him right then. It was good. That wolf side was happy he wasn't there to take my territory. And that he was obviously trying to be friendly, down deep. And it felt good, especially since I'm kind of ... raw, right now. I mean, Jacob told me to go home, that would make them happy, so I did that. But I still think about him and Jason constantly. Because distance doesn't really help that, you know? But on the other hand, I need to be here because that's what they need. And because I have responsibilities here too. And, ah ...." He sighs and rubs his hands through his hair, looking confused and conflicted and STILL not at the entire point of the story, apparently.
Scott McCall says, "He had me pinned against the wall. Not like holding me there, but kind of, um, you know, looming and blocking me in with his arms. And the alpha part of me was kinda going nuts. But I don't want to fight anybody right now, you know? And not in my house. We'd wreck the place. Mom would go nuts. But while he had that part of me going, red eyes and about to wolf out, he told me to use it. To, um, smell him." He pauses and grins that lopsided grin of his, "I know, what sounds gross. But it's a wolf thing. Anyway, I did. And I could smell that he wasn't challenging me, not really. Well, he was a little, because that's who he is, but it was mostly about getting me to use my werewolf stuff when I'm not about to die or scared or doing something physical. And I could tell a lot about him right then. It was good. That wolf side was happy he wasn't there to take my territory. And that he was obviously trying to be friendly, down deep. And it felt good, especially since I'm kind of ... raw, right now. I mean, Jacob told me to go home, that would make them happy, so I did that. But I still think about him and Jason constantly. Because distance doesn't really help that, you know? But on the other hand, I need to be here because that's what they need. And because I have responsibilities here too. And, ah ...." He sighs and rubs his hands through his hair, looking confused and conflicted and STILL not at the entire point of the story, apparently.
"Scott," Stiles says evenly, keeping it together mostly because he doesn't want to be thrown out of the library, "We'll talk about the complications of your love life next. First, what the hell is the 'weird thing'? I swear to god, if you just came here to brag about sniffing Brock's Lion-O sweat, I'm gonna toss you in the lake or something." He's concerned about Scott's romantic entanglements, certainly, but Stiles is also quite hot on the scent of whatever this weird thing business is. Hard to let that pass.
Scott sighs and says, "So, this isn't ... I mean, it wasn't... And I'm not going...." His expression is briefly forlorn as he says, "Dude, this thing is hard. Ethan was right. It's a curse. I mean, I don't regret it, not really, but I didn't know it was going to be so tough. I want to be near those two. But I also can't live with the way they do things. And I'm, ah, well, I think about things I didn't used to think about. Like back when I was with Allison." He clears his throat. "So, Brock had me caged in and my wolf was seriously engaged. And, you know, the wolf and me, we, I, liked the feeling a little. Liked Brock's smell. And that strength. And the idea that he's strong, but a friend. It made me feel safer. Better. And, um, a little .... interested." He shrugs, blushing, "So, you know, he kissed me. And it was cool. Like better than cool, actually. Dude kissing is excellent. A little stubbly, but that's okay." His tone is both excited and chagrinned and he hastens to add, "BUT, that doesn't mean I'm going to you know, be ...unfaithful? To Jason and Jacob. Is that even a thing, with this imprint thing? I don't know. But yeah. I'm not going to, um...." He pauses and says, "It's Brock's way of trying to get me to accept that I'm not human, now. I get that. And he's using my instincts against me to do it. But I totally had to let it happen for it to happen. So now, I'm like ... I don't know. Easy?" He gives Stiles a confused, hapless look. "How the hell does this guy stuff even work?"
Stiles stares, mouth hanging open, at this revelation for a good ten seconds before he manages to collect himself. Then, leaning forward onto his elbows against the table and gesturing with both hands toward Scott, he says, "You're telling me... that Brock made a move on you and you think it made your wolf-powers happy?" He shakes his head and reaches across the table to grip Scott's arm, squeezing it a little. "Dude. It works like any relationship works. The sex--" he pauses, glancing around, and continues in a quieter voice, "--the sex is different, but that's kind of the main thing." Then, putting on the absolutely most serious look he can muster, Stiles says, "Scott, I'm serious, here. Just answer me: What would make you happy? What do you really want?"
Scott blinks and looks defensive. "It did make my wolf powers happy!" He shrugs and adds, looking a bit more embarrassed, "And other things too." But then, at the question, he considers things a long while, crossing his hands over his chest in a decidedly guarded, non-typical gesture for Scott. "Honestly? I want to do be whatever Jacob and Jason need me to be. Which is ...away. And I get that. They have a lot in their world. But going down from that, I want different things. I want to be a good alpha. And I don't want to be a werewolf at all, right now. It's ... You know what keeps me up at night? Like, literally? The thought that everybody, including those two, everybody needs me to be okay with being a killer. And that I can't. Or ... that maybe, somehow, I will be okay with being a killer. How can I be that guy and still be somebody I want to look at in the mirror? Or that can look you in the eyes? Or Mom? Or Liam?" He leans back, obviously frustrated and frazzled and says, "Honestly, I keep turning this over and over in my head and the best solution is to just ... not be a werewolf. Jacob and Jason don't need me to protect them. Liam and the rest of the pack would be better off with an alpha willing to do what alphas have to do and I'd be better off not ... not putting myself in a place where I have to choose between being somebody good and somebody strong. Because too many people depend on me to be strong for me to stay good. No other alpha has. Not even Derek, and he's a freakin' pacifist compared to Brock or Jason."
Stiles slumps a bit in his chair, exhales sharply, and runs both hands through his hair. He fixes Scott with a long look, shakes his head, and says, "Dude, I don't know. I mean... I look at it like this. My dad's the sheriff. He's a good guy. He's not a killer, but if he had to... well, he carries a gun. If he had to kill to protect people, then it wouldn't make him a monster." He pauses, holding up a hand, and says, "Look, I'm not saying you should be willing to kill people. I'm very much okay with Scott not killing people, but if you had to... I wouldn't suddenly see you as a monster, okay? Neither would Liam." He frowns a bit. "But... I'll start researching the whole cure thing again, if you want. See what I can find." He's never had much luck before, but then his resources have been expanding lately. He gives a helpless shrug. "But otherwise? Just be you, dude. You are a pretty awesome guy, I happen to know."
Scott sighs, surprised to find out how relieved he is that Stiles is willing to help with something he knows his friend might not really support. That he knows their pack won't support. Or, well, anybody, except maybe their parents. The young alpha says, "I get that. But the thing is, your dad chose his life. And he has a ton of training. And the law. I don't have any of that. I mean, yeah, 'True Alpha', but I didn't decide that. And what would have happened if Peter had never given me the bite? I would have gone on being a regular human for the rest of my life, right? And all the people who died because of guys like Peter and Ducelon trying to call me out would be alive. Liam would still be human. You wouldn't have seen things that are horrible. Or be in a relationship with a demon, because you had to open your mind to the bad stuff in the world. Because I got you mixed up in it." He shakes his head. "I'm not a great guy, now. I was. Maybe I will be again. If I get the chance, I'm going to try like hell." He grins and says, "Dude, you know witches and all kind of crazy people now. Somebody, somewhere, has a cure. I know it." He shrugs. "Thank you."
And then, sitting back again, his tone wry and a little embarrassed. "Any advice on the whole 'making out with a giant lion dude' front? I mean, obviously, I need to make sure he knows that I'm ... focused ... on Jacob and Jason. And I can't help but think they'd be disappointed if I decided I was going to climb that particular mountain, even with telling me to go away and 'be happy'." He grins and adds, "Maybe I should add 'monk' to my wish list. Human monk. In a monastery. In, like, Tibet."
Stiles starts packing up his bag, stuffing it with his books and tablet, and then gets to his feet, slinging the backpack over his shoulder. The library aide thing must have really sunk in, because he even pushes in his chair as if out of habit. He gestures for Scott to walk with him, and as they head for the door, he shakes his head, sighing some. "Dude... making out is making out. You pretty much know how it works. Just... I guess get used to letting Brock be in charge, 'cause he doesn't really strike me as the submissive type." He shakes his head again, harder, and says, "And shut up with that 'not a great guy' crap, or I seriously will kick your ass."
Grinning, Scott stands up and follows Stiles. And then he blushes faintly at that information about Brock. He clears his throat and says, "Totally honest? I ... kind of like that. It's nice not to have to be THE alpha and just be a dude with another alpha." He glances sideways at Stiles and says, "Yeah, too much information. Sorry." And then, laughing, "Hey, if this works, you'll totally be ABLE to kick my ass. I'll go back to needing an inhaler to get down the hall." Okay, it wasn't that bad. But it wasn't always fun either. But at the moment, going back to being humanly frail and weak seems like a good trade. As usual, talking things through with Stiles has made him feel better about the mess his life is in.